


Till the End of Time Together

by nu_breed



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 18:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nu_breed/pseuds/nu_breed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin waits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Till the End of Time Together

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed coda for 5x13. Major spoilers for the episode.

Merlin waits.

It's something he's always been good at - waiting patiently, biding his time. Time now is something that Merlin has so much of and it's fathomless, infinite. Sometimes when Merlin thinks about him - about his smile, his eyes, the grasp of his fingers, it makes Merlin's chest ache with loneliness and grief. Yet still he waits for him. 

Waits for Arthur.

It takes tens of centuries, but eventually he forgets what he's waiting for. He tries to fight it, but it's inevitable and ultimately he can't even remember why he's fighting against the nothingness. So he doesn't mean to, but he slowly begins to forget them all: Mordred and Morgana, their eyes filled with hate and Merlin after all this time feeling nothing but pity for the both of them. Next, his father who looked over him with love and pride, Gaius and the way he would gently chastise him, Gwen with her dazzling smile and Gwaine - beautiful, loyal Gwaine. Last of all, when the memory of Uther and Camelot and Arthur's knights have all faded and Merlin's face and his body are young again, he forgets Arthur - and Merlin feels nothing but emptiness.

***

He meets Seb at an art gallery in Soho. Merlin likes him immediately - he has an odd sense of humour and kind eyes and Merlin kisses him on his doorstep and invites him in for a drink which turns into more. It feels nice. It feels— like something is missing, but Merlin goes with it anyway. He just can't shake the feeling that these aren't the hands that should be touching him.

That night he dreams of a boat on the water, and a voice saying "thank you" and when he wakes he realises he's been crying.

***

He interviews for a executive assistant job at UPI, the most prestigious public relations firm in London. He doesn't particularly want to work in PR, but freelance writing doesn't exactly pay the bills in this economy. Merlin feels out of his depth there, surrounded by spoiled rich brats who don't have to work for a living.

Like Arthur Pendragon.

The first thing Merlin thinks of when he meets Arthur is "Good lord, you're beautiful," a sentiment quickly replaced when Arthur opens his mouth. He is, quite possibly, one of the most arrogant twats Merlin has ever met in his life.

When Arthur punches him on the shoulder two days later and tells him to "stop standing there like a startled stoat and fetch my drycleaning," Merlin feels like he's forgotten something, like he's left something in a box somewhere and he needs to get it back.

***

He and Seb last four months. Merlin can't work out whether he feels sad or relieved.

"I really like you, Merlin," Seb says, tension and disappointment clear in his voice, "but you're never really with me, are you? I always feel that there's someone else in bed with us, some other bloke you'd rather have touching you."

Merlin thinks he should probably stop him, tell him there's no-one else, that Merlin wants him to stay.

He doesn't say a thing.

An hour or so later, Arthur is yelling in his ear about something completely unimportant. It's familiar and comforting, and it makes Merlin smile more than he has in years.

***

The staff Christmas party does not go to plan at all. Merlin had entertained a few ideas whilst getting dressed for the night, such as having a few glasses of bubbly and maybe snogging that new bloke in accounts under the mistletoe. Or even better, getting shagged in Arthur's office, because it would be the ultimate payback for all the berating and endless errands and complete loss of freedom. Not that he minds most of the time - for all Arthur's faults Merlin can't help but adore him. Still, it would be immensely satisfying. 

Unfortunately, the only action Merlin does get is looking after a drunk and maudlin Arthur from the moment he arrives, after his father hisses in Merlin's ear something about stopping Arthur from making a fool of himself and embarrassing Uther and the company. It makes Merlin bristle, and he wants to yell at Uther, because he should just be a better father to his son, dammit, and anyway it's his fault that Arthur has some of his less redeeming qualities and he'll make a far better leader than his father ever could and—

But instead, Merlin just does as he's told, walking Arthur to his office as he tries desperately to support his weight whilst making sure Arthur doesn't stumble into walls and it's all so achingly familiar.

"How much have you had to drink?" He asks, gently, pushing Arthur back onto the plush sofa and removing his shoes.

"Lots and lots," Arthur slurs. "Father was very unimpressed."

"I know," Merlin says, walking over to Arthur's fridge and pulling out a carafe of iced water. "Forget about him for a minute and drink this, would you?"

Arthur's hand brushes against his when Merlin hands him the dewy glass, and Merlin feels like he's been punched in the stomach. Arthur looks at him intently, eyes narrowing, and something like recognition washes over his face.

"I feel like—"

"I know you," Merlin says, unsure of where his words are even coming from, "and you know me. But I don't understand why. It's been like that since the moment I saw you."

Merlin knows Arthur, really knows him. He knows when he's grumpy exactly what to do to cheer him up, he knows when Arthur is faking it - his smile never reaching his eyes, and he knows what it feels like to weep over him for days which turn into months which turn into years.

Arthur nods, slowly, almost as if he can hear every thought in Merlin's head.

"Yes, Merlin," Arthur says, almost redundantly and Merlin realises that Arthur sounds and looks completely sober, all of a sudden. "I feel like if I reach out and touch you—"

"Please." Merlin's voice breaks, and he barely whispers, "please just touch me."

It sounds very much like something he heard a long, long time ago.

Arthur doesn't hesitate. He reaches his hand out, thumb stroking Merlin's cheek and Merlin inhales, sharply.   
"You. How can you feel so inevitable to me?"   
Arthur's voice is strained with something that Merlin can't place, and Merlin wants to say that he doesn't know, he doesn't understand any of it, but when Arthur sits forward and presses his lips to Merlin's, he begins to understand. 

And when Arthur's hand brushes the back of his head, Merlin remembers everything.


End file.
